Saying the first thing that comes to mind...

Boy what a crappy weekend. Communication isn't always a good thing when you're trying to find out what the hell is going on in an intimate relationship. I realize that "I" messages have to be used in order to avoid "conflict" But when you are dealing with someone who is already butt hurt, and has their feelings hurt about your "supposed" attitude problem you've had over the last couple of months, there is nothing you can say aside from beg their forgiveness if you want things to go any better. That is not my style. I have tried to communicate before my feelings, and how I feel abandoned, and alone in my efforts as a working mom, to try and keep the house cleaned up. Since my husband works now, he also has to take time to actually do something around the house, in order to keep it in good working order. Since we moved to a new house, we made an agreement to try and keep it clean, so that we would not get overwhelmed and frustrated again by a mess...clutter...whatever... So far it's not working, and I feel I have done WAY more than my 100%. I have cleaned up messes left behind by my kids, but also by him, thinking that I really shouldn't have to be doing that. Getting angrier with each thing I pick up, or wipe down, I start resenting the hell out of him, because I feel like he could have done it himself. I'm not his damn maid, or the freaking stay at home mom, who doesn't have anything else to do besides clean house. I don't envy my SAHM friends. I couldn't do it. I have to have a job, even though mine is driving me crazy at the moment. I really didn't even want to come in today, but I had to enter time for my crew, who didn't bother to get me any of their time until Today...because the "Foreman's computer was messed up" He could have written it down and faxed it to me from the hotel they were staying at, and surprise surprise, I have no hotel reciepts either. I guess I will have to dig for those later on when I'm trying to reconcile the credit card statement...sigh. Besides the crew not getting me paperwork that I need, on time, the salesmen don't communicate with me very well either, and I get to do a lot of things at the last minute, that make me look like an idiot for not getting stuff sent in the first time. Thank goodness, my office Sales manager is gone for the morning...and possibly the afternoon...I can get some rest...maybe. I'd rather be in bed.