dying

Little by little I have been isolating. Little by little I have stopped doing things I normally enjoy. My appetite is really crazy. I shake a lot. My stomach turns and I get nauseous out of nowhere. I feel like I am just one day away from staying in bed all the time. I don't understand why I can't put up my laundry or do all of my homework that I so desperately want to do. I feel like I am at the end of my life with so much on the horizon if I can just hang in there a little longer. I adore the special people in my life Brittany aka Poet, Emily aka Toby and Travis, and my family.

 I am struggling in how I am responding and reacting to things. my grandbaby Scout. I am sorry I wont be around to watch you grow up. Become a amazing person. I know you are already and can rock it my sweet little dude.

. I cant pretend to be ok anymore.

6 months later I am having the same feelings of depression. I don't even know what to tell my new psychiatrist about the meds. I am growing out of needing that place any longer.