let it go?

UGH, I feel so icky today, like I'm coming down with something. Maybe I have a cold...maybe I'm just exhausted. I know this though, my heart is hurting. How do you let go of something that is still holding on to you? That is my question for the day. I have no idea!!! I'm going to have to just let go though, and go from there. It can't hold on forever...especially if I'm not feeding it or watering it. What I'm talking about is disorder, and one who has a disorder who is still hanging onto me for dear life, afraid that I'm the only answer to the problem. I have to move on, and I have to grow, and I can't if I have this cling-on. It's almost like a parasite. It is a parasite..sucking my life's blood and ambition out of me. I'm making a decision to leave, but that doesn't mean it won't follow me. That's what sucks about this. I don't have anything to keep it away from me this time. All I can do is hope that my strength will get me through the grieving process the way I need it to. Everyone is always asking for signs....well I got one, and I'm going to use that sign as a HINT that my journey in this particular chapter in my life is over. I can't keep writing in this chapter, as there is no more room left. If I start a nother chapter..I can read the last one and learn from it, as I write the next one, instead of going back and reliving it. It gets boring reliving a chapter over and over again. And after a while it's pretty painful too. that's all I can write for now as I have a headache ;(