Who am I ?

Who am I? I have never really had an idea of who I am. I don't know what I stand for really. I tend to believe the way the majority of people around me do. I would like to think that I am original, but I don't feel that way lately. I feel like I have lost myself...and that I don't know if I will get myself back, ever. I am not really even sure how to write this except that I know it needs to be done. I don't really find myself that interesting, unless someone else takes interest in me, and then most of the time, I tend to act the way that keeps them interested in me until I can no longer stand it. I'm not sure what that point is, but most of the time it's the point where I feel I have to do something to prove my commitment, or my trust, and at that time, I either run away, or I do the best I can, only I don't feel like I ever do the best that I can. I tend to see someone in a positive light until they do something that makes me feel like I'm not as important to them as I thought I was. I tend to trust strangers with details of my life, because I dont' feel I have anything to lose. They aren't connected to my life in any way. They wont' judge me, because they don't know me well enough. Once they start getting to know me, enough to know that I'm not consistent, they go away. I feel like I'm inconsistent because I am constantly trying to please others instead of trying to satisfy myself. I'm not sure what I hope to accomplish by doing that, except for adoration beause I am that person who will try and please them until I finally can't do it anymore. I use excuses to keep me from doing things for myself. I blame others, and say they don't want me to do something or that the uncomfortable feeling I will get from knowing they really don't approve will become unbearable.


The things that I know about myself are:


I am a woman

I am a mom

I am a wife

I am a daughter

I am a grandaughter

I am a niece

I am a great niece

I am a cousin

I am an aunt

I am a sister-in-law

I am a daughter-in-law

I am a step-mother

I am a friend

I am an employee

I am a patient

I am a renter

I am a consumer

I am an American

I am a Texan


I keep thinking of negative things that I am, but I don't want to write those down. I want to stay optimistic, and write down the things that I am positive about.
That's all I can think of for now.